euphoria: special episode part one

It’s been a while since we’ve seen Rue Bennett. At the end of season one, she was struggling with the departure of her friend, and complicated lover, Jules. In this special episode, we are placed into Rue’s world months after Jules left, and more specifically, into a diner on Christmas Eve with her sponsor Ali, played by Colman Domingo. What ensues is an hour long therapy session, varying from discussions on religion, death, and the stigmatization of addiction. It was one of the most enveloping hours of television in 2020 and the best episode of Euphoria so far.

In a show that may sometimes focus much more on aesthetic complexity than emotional depth, this episode really flips the script. Sam Levinson has stripped down the camera dynamics and has upped the content on the page, which to the benefit of Zendaya and Domingo, allow them to create deep, emotional, and earnest performances. The discussions in their dining booth are profound, but the look in their eyes and pain on their face tell the story. It is an episode with deep, earnest intentions, and it achieves heart-breaking results.

Even within her own warm and happy dream sequences, Rue is using. She cannot escape her bleak reality. Her struggles, as we discover, reach far beyond her addiction and dependency on drugs and Jules. This growing weight in her mind shows in her dejected disposition. Her eyes are tired, her shoulders slouched, and speech slowed. Although she may be tired, her attention to Ali never wavers as he tells stories of his past and vocalizes his own thoughts. He speaks about many things, including his religion, Nike’s BLM involvement, and on the purpose of life. After they converse a while, and upon reflecting on what she wants her life to be, Rue says plainly, “I just don’t plan on being here that long.” Ali, who acts as a pseudo-therapist in this episode, challenges her psyché, saying something to the effect of how do you want your family to remember you? Her response: “As someone who tried really hard to be someone I couldn’t.” In a moment where Rue seems to have no forms of deep rooted love and support, Ali grabs her hand. She releases a tear and a small amount of the pain she has been feeling releases with it. It wasn’t a moment conveying the idea that everything is okay, but one that proves to her that her walk will not be alone. At the end of the episode, she seems to find a little solace, as she hitches a ride home from Ali in his truck. The bleakness that shrouds her life seems to find a faint glimmer of light.

The emotional depth from this episode was unlike anything I’ve seen in 2020. It reminds us that, like Rue and Ali, we all walk our own path and face our own struggles. This special episode does not offer solutions to our problems but instead offers a helping hand. All that matters is that we take it.